


Another Time, Another Place

by banduraqueen



Series: Another Time, Another Place [1]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Romance, Slow Burn, season 4, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:48:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 9,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26817613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banduraqueen/pseuds/banduraqueen
Summary: Buffy and Giles spend time together, but it's not until a supernatural encounter that they have to face up to the feelings they've developed for each other.
Relationships: Riley Finn/Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles/Buffy Summers
Series: Another Time, Another Place [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970257
Comments: 48
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The main timeline takes place between "The Replacement" and "Out of My Mind."  
> (There are a lot of flashbacks)

_**October, 2000** _

When it came to fighting vampires Buffy had always gotten the job done, of course. It was just that she sometimes used to take a round-about way of getting there — which showed creativity, but wasn't always the most effective. Now that she was studying the philosophy along with the technique — and taking it seriously — she had internalized the principle of minimum effort, maximum efficiency. When she fought she was controlled, precise, _efficient_. She was scary. Giles was very happy with her progress. 

"Excellent! Good work!" he said, when she finished her judo set. "Shall we work on your balance now? Cool down before calling it a day?" 

"Actually, can we call it early today?" Buffy asked, stretching out her arms. 

Giles rolled his eyes. "Well that work ethic certainly didn't last long."

"I'm ethical! I'm a whole ethics committee! I just need to get a present for Xander and Anya, and I still don't know what. I have to trawl the mall."

Xander and Anya had finished moving into their apartment and were having a party that night to celebrate. 

"Get them something from the shop," Giles suggested. The Magic Box hadn't opened yet, but inventory was coming in and the Scoobies had been coming by sporadically to help shelve it. 

"It's a housewarming, not a séance. I want to get them something useful."

"A shrine to a household deity is very useful."

Buffy looked skeptical. "Not sure it'll go with their décor."

"You're going to be cutting it close if you go to the mall."

Buffy shrugged, resigned. "I'm going to be late anyways. Riley has a pile of papers to grade tonight, he won't be able to pick me up till I'm done." 

"I can drive you."

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not. And you should get the Aitvaras statue, Anya's had her eye on it." 

"But what'll you get then?"

"I already got my gift. Coffee maker." Buffy raised her eyebrows at him. He smiled back. "I wanted to get them something useful." 


	2. Chapter 2

**_August, 1999_ **

For Buffy the summer between high school and college was tedious. Xander had left to travel America, Willow was spending a lot of time with Oz, and it seemed like even the demons were keeping it underground to stay out of the unbearable summer heat. When Joyce's prodding about course selection and college plans got a bit too much for her to tolerate Buffy would wander Sunnydale by herself, though it was really too hot for wandering. Looking for an escape she ended up at Giles' door. 

He looked surprised to see her.

"Thank god your air conditioner is on!" she said as a greeting, pushing past him into the cool apartment. 

"I wouldn't dream of turning it off," he said, a little bewildered by what she was doing there. 

"You're not busy are you?" she asked, picking up on his annoyance. "Please don't make me go outside again." 

"You do have air conditioning at your own house."

"Yeah but I'm bored there," Buffy said, dropping down into an armchair. 

"Bored enough that coming here is an exciting alternative?"

Buffy shrugged. "This is the summer of my discontent."

Giles sighed, resigned. "Can I get you something to drink?"

Buffy smiled, self-satisfied. "Iced tea please." 

"Have you chosen your courses yet?" he asked from the kitchen. 

"Not yet mom," Buffy muttered. 

"What was that?"

"Can we _not_ talk about college?"

"I thought you'd be excited."

"What are you reading?" Buffy asked, ignoring what Giles had said. He gave her a confused look as he returned with drinks so she added defensively, "I'm interested in what you do! I'm interested in books! I'm going to college, I'm going to be all books all the time." 

Giles let her change the subject. 

The topic of Romantic literature lasted longer than Giles would have guessed, but eventually their talk about _Tess of the d'Urbervilles_ did turn back to what was bothering Buffy. 

"Imagine being a milkmaid though," Buffy exclaimed, leaning back against one arm of her chair, draping her legs over the other one. "Hanging out with cows all day. All the cheese you can eat. No worries about prerequisites and choosing your major and career paths." 

"I'm not convinced that’s an advantageous trade-off.” Giles replied sceptically from the couch. “She did have her own troubles."

"Yeah but if you avoided all that. It sounds nice."

"You don't have to have everything figured out, you know," Giles said gently. "You could even take a gap year if you feel like you're not ready yet." 

"And then I figure out what I want and it doesn't mesh with slaying and I have to give it up anyways." Buffy didn't look at Giles as she spoke, but focused on picking lint off a throw pillow. 

He watched her for a minute before responding. "I worked at a museum for around 10 years before coming here, you know. The Council got me the job." 

"Ugh. Sounds like death.” Buffy looked up at Giles. “Sorry, was it, like, your dream job?"

"Actually I was right there with you," he said with a self-deprecating smile. "I desperately wanted to be sent into the field. I had to look for the value in my job. I wanted to save the world, and at the museum at least I got to preserve the legacy of past generations for the future, saving fragments of worlds past."

"So just find the silver lining?" Buffy said unenthusiastically. 

Giles deflated. "I suppose," he said. "I'm sorry, Buffy. You don't get a fair deal."

"I don't mind the destiny," Buffy insisted. "I really don't. It's just... everything sure would be easier without it."

"Oh, I know," Giles sighed. And they shared a moment. And then that moment threatened to turn Buffy's flippant comment into something more emotional than she had intended. Giles quickly started talking again. "Well, no matter how bad college gets as long as you pass the first time around you'll do better than I."

"Oh yeah! Mr. drop-out! What was that like?"

"I brought that up to make you feel better, not to reminisce." 

"Oh come on, your stories can't all be bad." Giles still looked reticent so Buffy added, "I'm still feeling kinda down. It would cheer me up to learn something incriminating about you."

Giles smiled despite himself. 

They talked until the apartment grew dim and Giles got up to switch on some lights.

"What time is it anyways?" Buffy asked, checking her watch. "Oh wow, no wonder I'm starving!" She said, getting to her feet.

"Let's get dinner." Giles suggested. "There's a, uh, new Thai place down the street."

"Oh. Um..." Buffy hesitated. "Mom's expecting me, actually. She's been on a cooking kick," she explained apologetically. "But next time?" 

"Okay." Giles smiled. 

Buffy smiled back. "Bye."

There wasn't a next time. For the rest of the summer Buffy did think about visiting Giles now and then but always felt strangely nervous about it. She told herself she just didn't want to bother him. She had taken up his whole day last time, he probably didn’t want to do that again.


	3. Chapter 3

**_October, 2000_ **

For the party Buffy wore a coral strapless top and white denim skirt. It was her new favorite outfit, the coral brought out the colour in her cheeks and the white skirt made her legs look even more tan. Walking out of her dorm, she found Giles leaning against his convertible. Wearing a tailored sport coat and jeans he looked almost cool.

He looked up as she approached. "Oh. Uh, y-you look very nice." 

"Hi," she said with a broad, amused smile. "I know." 

He held the car door for her. 

"You look nice too, by the way," she said as she sat down. 

He blushed a bit before collecting himself and jibing back, "I know."

Buffy wasn't about to tell Giles this, but she was definitely starting to get the appeal of driving around in a little red convertible: rock and roll on the radio, the warm evening breeze in her hair, and the sunset gilding everything yellow. That night it felt like summer was taking one last stand against the encroaching fall. She would have been happy to keep driving around all night; she had a strange, inexplicable feeling of dread when she thought about Xander's new place.

"You haven't seen the apartment yet, have you?" Buffy asked.

"This is my first time."

"It's nice..."

"But?"

"But it gives me weird vibes. It's vibey." 

"Can you expand?"

"It's probably nothing."

"Considering it's you I think it's more than likely something." 

"I feel lonely there. Like, Patsy Cline-level lonely." 

"Have you told Xander about this?"

"I don't want to rally the troops over a feeling. Not until I’m sure it’s more than a feeling"

Giles furrowed his brow with concern. "I guess we'll just see if anything happens tonight."


	4. Chapter 4

**_November, 1999_ **

Giles was starting to feel sorry he had gone to the Bronze. Buffy and her friends had made it very clear that he didn’t belong there. And then the mood at the table had turned rather uneasy. His one consolation was that he wasn't the cause of that shift in mood. When the band finished its set Oz wanted to talk to their drummer, and when he left Willow looked absolutely distressed. 

Buffy took her friend's hand. "Come on, let's dance," she said encouragingly and pulled her towards the dancefloor. 

Willow seemed reluctant but went along with her and Xander followed. 

"Hold down the fort, Giles?" Buffy said over her shoulder.

Giles was left feeling very awkward. He bobbed his head a little to the beat, trying to look like he was enjoying himself, but quickly gave up on that. He watched the kids. Xander's dancing was interesting, to say the least. Willow seemed distracted. Buffy was acting like if she had enough fun for the two of them some of it would rub off on Willow. She smiled brightly, and when the club's lights shone on her they lit her hair with different coloured halos, she rolled her shoulders to the music and swung her hips and... Giles wanted to dance with her.

_ No. That’s stupid. _ He was far too old and could barely dance anyways and had he really been looking at Buffy? His face was burning up. He glanced again at the dance floor. Buffy was looking at him now. She looked bemused. Had she noticed? Giles wanted to sink into the earth and disappear. He left the Bronze without looking back. 

He walked through the dark not paying attention to anything around him, one thought hanging over him: he was attracted to Buffy.  _ This can’t be happening. _ It wasn’t happening, he wouldn’t let it. He’d just ignore it, he would ignore it and it would go away and  —

A vampire leapt out of the shadows and Giles suddenly found himself pinned against a wall, bricks digging into his back, the vampire’s forearm pressed into his throat. Reflexively Giles grasped for the stake he carried in his jacket pocket and clumsily jabbed it into the vampire. It turned to dust, and Giles doubled over, coughing and gasping for air. He felt sick. 

“I should have just let it kill me,” Giles muttered to himself. It was a few minutes before he recovered and could walk home. 


	5. Chapter 5

**_October, 2000_ **

"Yay! Presents!" Anya exclaimed as Buffy and Giles walked in. 

"Good to see the people carrying the presents too," Xander said. "Glad you guys could make it."

Anya tore into the gifts right away. Xander was nonplussed by the statue of a dragon-rooster Buffy had brought, but Anya loved it. 

"Aitvaras is definitely a spirit you want to be on the good side of. He brings you stolen things," she said with a conspiratorial grin. 

Giles gave Buffy an "I told you so" look, but the more Anya talked about Aitvaras the more Buffy doubted it was a good idea for anyone to welcome it into their home. 

There was a knock on the door and Buffy was glad for the interruption. As Anya answered it Buffy whispered, "Sorry, I had no idea" to Xander.

"Happy housewarming!" said a voice from the door. It was Riley.

"Riley! You got here early!" Buffy hurried over to him and gave him a kiss.

"I tried calling you."

"Must have just missed me. What happened to the papers?"

"A lot more missed the deadline than expected. Bad for them, but good for me. At least for tonight." The couple shared a smile and kissed again. 

Willow and Tara arrived five minutes later, and then a couple of Xander's friends from work along with their girlfriends. 

"Is that allowed?" Buffy frowned, indicating the newcomers.

"Well, the more the merrier," Willow replied, though she sounded uncertain. 

"It's good for him to have friends outside our little supernatural circle, actually," Giles said reproachfully, and just a little wistfully. 

"Okay, fine, count me on board the merry train," Buffy conceded. She picked up one of the bowls of party mix that Xander or Anya had put around the apartment and went over to talk to the work friends. Willow and Giles followed her. 

It turned out that Xander's friends were very nice. They talked about football. As nice as they were, however, after about twenty minutes of football Buffy had eaten all the party mix in her bowl and started looking for an escape. Willow had already extricated herself and was talking with Tara and Riley about the subject of the papers Riley should have been grading. Xander and Anya, meanwhile, had started a dance party of two. Buffy glanced over at Giles. His eyes kept glazing over, and then he would blink back to attention. 

"Sorry to interrupt," she said to the work-friend who was talking. "I just love this song. Come dance with me Giles?" She grabbed his arm and started pulling him away.

"Oh, um, okay." 

"Feel free to thank me for the rescue," Buffy said under her breath as they moved away.

"But now I have to dance. Bit of a frying pan-fire situation." 

"Dancing isn't any harder than fighting," she said, turning to face him and taking his hands. 

"So easier for you than the rest of us."

"Oh come on," she rolled her eyes and started to lead him in a simple two-step. 

"This is a rumba beat," Giles pointed out.

"Oh, do you want to lead?"

"No," Giles replied, his voice a bit higher than usual. "This is fine."

Buffy laughed at him. And then her eyes seemed to shine a little more, her smile seemed a little more special, just for him. Giles felt he must be growing red. Without noticing he had started to lead. 

"How are you feeling anyways?" He asked. 

"Right now I feel just grand."

It struck Giles as an odd reply. He would have followed up on it, but he kept getting lost in the way Buffy was looking at him. 

The song ended. 

"Come with me," Buffy said with an inviting smile, and took Giles' hand. She led him to the balcony. 

"Don't you just love it?" Buffy asked, looking out at the view. The building was on a hill, and the balcony overlooked a sheer drop. Beyond the tree tops that surrounded the building Sunnydale sparkled in the night, and beyond that you could just make out a shimmery strip of ocean. 

"It's a lovely view," Giles said softly, looking at Buffy. There was something enchanting about her, but wrong… he could figure out what was going on if only he didn’t keep getting distracted—

"I'm on top of the world..." She turned to him "Here. With you."

Giles felt like his brain shut down altogether.

She pulled him close, stood on her toes, and kissed him. 

_"Buffy?"_ Riley's voice cut through the fog that seemed to fill Giles' head, and Giles pushed Buffy away. 

"I-I don't know what happened, I..." Giles started, but trailed off — Buffy hadn't taken her eyes off him and she looked devastated. Then a change seemed to pass over her, she swayed a little and Riley steadied her. She was herself again. 

"So _that's_ what's going on," Buffy said, mostly to herself. 

Riley was confused. " _What's_ going on?"

There were screams from inside the apartment. The three of them stepped in from the balcony to find the bowls of party mix had become bowls of insects, giant millipedes and beetles, creeping out onto the tables and counter. 

Then the bugs were gone. The party was gone. Buffy was still standing in the doorway between the apartment and the balcony, she hadn't moved, but everything around her was different. A man and woman were dancing alone. He wore a white tuxedo jacket and she was in a silvery dress. A song that reminded Buffy of the old black and white movies she watched with her mom was playing on the radio, it sounded far away. 

"You're not sorry you missed the party?"

The woman shook her head. "Right now I feel just grand." Her short hair was set in finger waves. 

He looked a little sad, but she didn't notice as the song ended and she led him out to the balcony. "Come with me."

Sunnydale was different, there weren't as many houses, there were many more trees. It felt like they were out in the country, like this was an escape. 

"Don't you just love it?" 

"It's quite the view." 

"I'm on top of the world. Here. With you." She smiled broadly and kissed him. He let her for a moment before pushing her away. 

"What's wrong?"

"We can't go on like this. This secrecy and sneaking around, it can't last. It's not good, not for either of us."

"Then leave her, stay with me, darling," she said hopefully. "We can be ourselves here."

"You know I can't."

"But _I'm_ the one who loves you. _I'm_ the one you're in love with..."

He looked like he was about to speak, but didn't, like he couldn't find the words that fit everything he needed to say. He looked pained. 

As his silence continued her hopeful spirit dissipated. Tears welled in her eyes. "Aren't I, darling?"

He took a step back. "You'll get over me," was all he said, and he turned away. 

As he left, Buffy felt a sickening despair grow within her, and darkness press in from all sides...

"Buffy!" A voice was calling her from far away. "Buffy! Are you okay?" Riley was looking at her with concern. Her friends were gathered around. They were in the hallway outside the apartment and Buffy didn't remember how she got there. 

"Yeah... definitely haunted." 


	6. Chapter 6

After their encounter with the bowls of giant bugs, the work friends couldn't get away fast enough. Xander hopefully called out, "Talk to you Monday!" after them as they left. Everyone else regrouped at Buffy's house twenty minutes later. 

"So what exactly happened when you two were possessed?" Tara asked Buffy and Giles curiously as she sat down besides Willow on the couch. 

"Uh..." Buffy started, feeling the colour rising in her cheeks. She threw a glance at Giles. He had been pacing, apart from everyone else, and now seemed frozen by the question. 

"They were just acting different," Riley interjected. "Subtle stuff. You'd have to be a psych PhD like me to pick up on it."

"Thank you," Buffy mouthed silently to Riley. 

"Ya know, I wouldn't mind the ghosts not being mentioned in the lease if they chipped in for rent," Xander complained. 

"Here, I found it," Willow said. She had been searching the internet on her laptop. "In 1930 a woman committed suicide by jumping off the balcony." 

Tara looked over her girlfriend’s shoulder. "Does it say why?"

"No, that's it. It doesn't even say her name." 

"She was lonely," Buffy said, sounding distant. "She was in love, and he left her." 

"But you've fixed this kind of thing before, right?" Anya asked anxiously. "It's fixable. It's like if we found out we had leaky piping, we call in the plumber. We've got ghosts, we call Buffy."

"Last time the ghosts had to work through their issues by possessing Buffy and Angel," Xander explained. "And also you missed a perfect opportunity for a Ghostbusters reference there, honey."

"So easy peasy, we throw Buffy and Giles back in there, the ghosts do their possessing thing, and presto we have our apartment back!"

"What?" Giles sounded slightly alarmed. 

"You can't ask them to do that," Tara said.

"We can find another apartment," Xander added. 

"And just leave the ghosts there?" Willow asked. 

"I want to help her," Buffy said. 

"See, Buffy's on my side." 

"I'm on the ghost's side," Buffy clarified. "I feel bad for her."

"I don't want her throwing you off a balcony," Riley said. 

"We don't know that she will. Has she hurt anyone before, Willow?"

"Not from what I can find. But we can totally catch you. A magic forcefield around the apartment, it’s child’s play." 

Buffy nodded in approval. "As far as threat levels go, this is pretty low-key. I think we've got this," she added, turning to an increasingly nervous Giles.

"Uh,  _ we've _ got this," Riley said, indicating himself and Buffy. "If anyone is going in there with you it's me."

Buffy looked uncertain. "I don't think that will work. When you and I were together at the party we didn’t get possessed. I think the ghosts  _ chose _ me and Giles."

"I am very uncomfortable with all of this," Giles muttered. Buffy looked at him. "But if, uh, i-if this is wh-what you think is best..." 

"Ghostbusters!" Anya exclaimed.


	7. Chapter 7

**_May, 2000_ **

Buffy felt a little guilty for going out when she really should have been trying to track down Adam. On the other hand he had been keeping a low profile lately, she didn’t have any leads, and Willow was _insisting_ they go to the Espresso Pump that night. 

"Are you sure this is the hour for caffeine, Will?" Buffy asked as they got near. "Last time you had coffee this late was a bit of a disaster." 

"They have non-caffeine things," Willow assured her, though she seemed distracted. "Wait. We should stop here."

Buffy was perplexed. They were just steps from the entrance. She could smell the coffee and hear chattering friends and music playing. "What? But we're here. I want my non-caffeine treats."

Willow grabbed Buffy's arm to stop her from going in, a mischievous smile playing on her face. "No, no, no. I don't want him to see us."

"Him who? Willow… Wait —" Buffy's eyes widened as she listened to the singing coming from the coffee shop. "Is that _Giles_?"

Willow nodded and grinned. "Yeah, like I said, kinda sexy, right?"

"Willow! Don't say that! It's weird!"

Willow tsked at her. "You're the one making it weird." 

"He's my Watcher! I can't think of him like that."

Willow rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine we'll go. But you know as an adult you could learn how to compartmentalize these things. It is possible for Giles to be kind of sexy and your Watcher at the same time."

"I'll keep that in mind for the next time you ambush me with Giles singing."

Buffy turned to go, but Willow dawdled. 

"But he's good, right?" Willow asked. 

Buffy stopped and listened for a second. "I _guess,_ " she admitted. Though the longer she listened the better he sounded. 

Willow nudged her. Buffy tried to keep up her grumpy demeanor but when she looked at Willow's smiling face she couldn't do it anymore. They both broke into giggles.

"You are going to _pay_ for doing this to me," Buffy threatened between bursts of laughter. But she stayed with Willow outside the Espresso Pump.

They sat on the ground, leaning against the wall, and intermittently giggling uncontrollably. Buffy didn’t know any of the songs Giles was playing, but she liked all of them.

His voice was mellow with an occasional twang that stung her heart. After listening a while Buffy turned thoughtful. She pulled off one of the bracelets she was wearing and turned it over and over in her hands. 

“You know, I think he has a bit of a crush on me,” she confided. 

“Who?” Willow asked.

“Giles,” Buffy replied, keeping her eyes on her bracelet.

“What?” Willow was suddenly very serious. “Why? What's he done?”

“Just... stuff. Nothing. Little things.”

“How do you feel about it?”

Buffy twisted the bracelet around her fingers. “Weird? But I mean, it's Giles, he's not ever going to do anything about it. So I guess it's fine?”

“Yeah,” Willow said uncertainly, her eyes searching Buffy’s face. Buffy still wasn’t looking at her, but Willow gave her a comforting smile. “And, really, who _wouldn't_ have a crush on you?” 

“I know, right?” Buffy smiled confidently, but with a note of self-deprecating sarcasm in her voice. “Crushable me.” 

“Honestly it would be weirder if he didn't have a crush on you.”

Buffy looked at Willow warmly, and her friend smiled back at her with sympathetic eyes. Buffy leaned her head on Willow’s shoulder and listened to Giles singing, and wondered what it would be like if he was singing to her.


	8. Chapter 8

**_October, 2000_ **

The night air was surprisingly cold. It was making Giles' ears hurt as he drove back to the apartment. He pushed the button to raise the roof of his convertible. It started to go up and then got stuck. 

"God damn it." 

Giles pulled over under a streetlight and got out to investigate what was going wrong.

Not that it would be a bad thing if his car just broke down altogether. Then he could just stay where he was all night. 

_ What am I going to do? _

The last thing he wanted was for anyone to know he hadn't been possessed when he let Buffy kiss him. Though he felt like he hadn't fully been in control either, not when Buffy looked at him like that, like he never dreamed she would, her face alight, her eyes sparkling—

_ No _ . He wasn't going to think like that. 

Ever since he first realized he was attracted to Buffy, Giles had tried to tamp down those feelings. 

But he could have tried harder, if he was being honest with himself. If he could just cut those feelings out of him and throw them away it would make everything easier... but a part of him wanted to hang on to them. A part of him liked being in love with Buffy. 

He wasn't just attracted to her, Giles was in love. 

He pulled on the frame of the roof and it came unjammed from its casing. He lost his grip and slammed his hand into the car. 

"Bloody hell," he swore through gritted teeth. That was going to leave a bruise. 

He leaned against the car holding his injured hand until the pain subsided, then he wearily sat back down in the driver's seat. He finished closing the roof, but didn't start the car. 

He could just refuse to go back. 

But Buffy wanted to help the ghost. She felt for her. Of course she did. Helping her move on was the right thing to do. That's what mattered. 

There was nothing else for it. He had to tell Buffy there was no second ghost. Giles felt sick with nerves about it. Though telling her about the ghost — or lack of ghost — didn't necessarily mean she had to find out about his feelings, he reassured himself. 

But how could he go on lying to her?

If he told her then she would hate him, he was sure. If he didn't tell her then he would deserve to be hated. It was that simple, really. 

Giles started his car and drove into the darkness.


	9. Chapter 9

Buffy watched Willow and Tara cast a magical safety net around the apartment. It sparkled with purple energy and then disappeared. Willow assured her it was still there in full force, just invisible. 

"Okay, if you say so. This is me trusting you with my life, Will." 

"I got this," Willow replied confidently, giving Buffy double thumbs-up. 

Buffy waved goodbye and headed up to the apartment with Giles. Everyone else stayed outside. 

Giles shuffled back and forth in the elevator and polished his glasses. 

"This is pretty awkward I guess," Buffy said. 

"To put it lightly." He didn’t seem able to look at her. 

"I haven't thought about the awkwardness much. I just can't get out of her head. She's so sad."

"A-about that, the ghosts..." He hesitated before getting to the question. "What do you think she wants?"

"Love," Buffy said simply. "She just wants to be loved. What about yours?"

"Uh..." Giles looked lost, trying to find what to say. The elevator doors opened. "He's sorry," Giles said. "He must be sorry." 

They found the apartment and Buffy took out the keys Xander had given her. She turned them in the latch... 

"Buffy —" Giles said suddenly.

She turned to him, concerned. "What?"

"I-I... I need to t-tell you... th-th-the..." He stopped, frustrated with himself. He took a breath and started again. "Wh-what I-I-I mean..."

Buffy sighed. "Giles. Chill," she said. "Please, you're making this weird." 

He blinked, taken aback. 

"This isn't about us. Just... compartmentalize. Okay?"

He nodded in agreement, though he didn't look any less conflicted. 

Buffy opened the door and stepped inside. It was oddly still. 

"Ugh, I wonder where the bugs went."

"Maybe they've disappeared? Along with the ghost?" Giles said hopefully. 

The apartment was lit only with moonlight. They didn't turn on the lights, it didn't seem right to. The radio switched on by itself. The sound quality was tinny as a wavering voice crooned over a full orchestra; the song the couple had danced to in 1930. 

"I guess we should dance." 

Buffy took Giles' hand, and he held her close, as you would with someone you wanted to dance with. He led her in a slow dance, their footsteps tracing winding patterns through the shadows.

"You're not as bad at this as you think, you know," Buffy said softly. 

He swallowed nervously. "Do you feel anything yet?"

She smiled at him, an extra shine in her eyes. "Right now I feel just grand."

Giles' eyes widened like he was afraid. 

The song ended and she took his hand. "Come with me." She led him to the balcony. 

Out in the night air she threw her head back and gazed up at the stars. "Don't you just love it?" 

"It's a lovely view." Giles said automatically, his voice constrained. 

"I'm on top of the world. Here. With you." 

Holding on to his lapels, she pulled him close, stood on her toes, and kissed him. At first he just let her, then, like he came to a decision, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, and she held him all the closer. 

When at last she pulled back there were tears in her eyes. "You are in love with me?" she asked, disbelieving. 

"I am," he whispered. "I love you more than anything." 

It was as if light was coalescing inside Buffy, she began to glow. Giles stepped back, alarmed. She shone with the light until it couldn't be contained anymore and it floated above her, above them both, encompassing them in light, and it ascended into the sky. 

Buffy felt faint. 

Giles watched her, anxiety evident on his face. 

Her eyes were still wet with tears. She stared at him. "You weren't possessed, were you?" 

"No." 

Silence hung between them, broken only by the sound of Top 40 that was now playing from the radio inside.

"I thought... I don't know what I thought..." Giles tried to explain. "That it would be easier not to correct anyone... certainly that it wouldn’t be so obvious and that it would be, I don't know... less embarrassing…"

Suddenly there was the sound of voices from the apartment.

"Buffy?" Riley called out.

Buffy turned away from Giles and went inside. All her friends were there. 

"So it worked?" Anya asked with anticipation. 

"It was beautiful," Tara said. "We could see the light from the ground, I've never seen anything like it."

"Are you okay?" Riley asked. 

Buffy watched Giles quietly walk past the Scoobies and slip out of the apartment. 

"Yeah," Buffy nodded and plastered a smile on her face. "She — they moved on. End of story."


	10. Chapter 10

"You’re not okay." Riley said. He was driving Buffy back to her dorm. 

Buffy hesitated before answering, "No."

"What happened?"

"Nothing," Buffy said, but then continued, "I don't know. I don't know... Last time this happened I understood it. I knew why James picked me, and I felt like I understood myself better afterwards. This time... I don't get what just happened" 

"Do you want to talk about it? We can do some supernatural psychoanalysis."

"Well..." Buffy said carefully, "For one thing… Last time, James felt guilty and so did I. But this ghost was lonely, and I-I'm not. I have you, I have my friends."

"Maybe she didn't identify with you, maybe she wanted to be you."

"If she wanted to feel loved then why choose Giles? Why not you? Why not Xander and Anya?"

"That was for the other ghost to decide, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." Buffy lied, but she couldn't hide her frustration. 

"You helped her, you helped them both. That's the important thing," Riley assured her. 

Buffy raised a hand to her forehead and leaned her arm on the window. "I just wasn't expecting to be so confused." 

They spent the rest of the drive in silence. 

When they pulled up in front of her dorm Riley started to say good night, but Buffy interrupted him.

"Can you sleep over?"

Riley hesitated. "You seem kinda shaken up."

"Yeah, I'd just really like the company."

Riley did stay the night. Buffy curled up against him in bed and tried her best to fall asleep. 


	11. Chapter 11

**_September, 2000_ **

Buffy felt relieved having told Giles everything that had been on her mind since Dracula; the darkness that intrigued but scared her, the fact that she needed help, that she needed him to be her Watcher again. It felt like a big deal. 

But he was the one who had invited her over to talk, it must have been for a reason. 

"You had something you wanted to say?" she asked. 

"No... it's nothing," he replied, a faint smile playing on his face.

"Okay..." Buffy said, bemused. She grabbed a cookie from the plate on the coffee table and leaned back against the arm of the couch. "Just wanna hang?"

"Uh, if you don't have any other plans..."

"I'm meeting Willow later, but till then..." She shrugged. They sat in silence for a moment. "You know what, it's nice out, let's walk."

As they walked Buffy and Giles started making plans for a new training regimen, Giles pitched new disciplines for Buffy to learn and listed off books he'd need to consult for ideas. The lawns they passed were deep green and the gardens overflowed with autumn flowers. They walked under tall trees with wide, arcing branches thick with leaves. Buffy realized Giles hardly ever looked at home outside in California, but strolling through the dappled light of a tree-lined street in late September seemed to suit him; it brought out the green in his eyes. And it was nice to see him getting excited over being a Watcher again. 

"You always get so into this stuff," she said, an amused look in her eyes. 

"Shouldn't I?" Giles asked.

"Yeah, don't get me wrong, it's great," Buffy explained. "I just never really _got_ it before. But I think I'm starting to. We have a destiny, there's no getting around it. We should make the most of it." 

"It's not a bad destiny to have."

"And I get to share it with you."

* * *

Willow was waiting on a bench outside the mall when Buffy ran up to her.

"Hey! I'm not late am I?"

"Not really." Willow waved away Buffy's question. "The more important question is, are you in shop-mode?"

"Definitely. Phasers set to shop."

"Why _are_ you late though?"

Buffy smiled apologetically to her friend as they started to walk into the mall, "Ah, no reason, I was just talking to Giles."

Willow's face fell. "About what?"

"Upping his Watcher game. I feel like I've plateaued in the slaying realm and I need the help to level up." 

"Oh! That's great!" Willow said, relieved, and her face broke into a wide grin. "I'm so happy for you!"

"Yeah, you really are," Buffy said suspiciously. "What's up?"

"Nothing! It's nothing," Willow insisted. Then a moment later blurted out, "I promised not to say anything, but Giles was planning to go back to England." 

Buffy stopped in her tracks. "What?"

"He thought he wasn't helpful to you anymore, that you didn't need him. But he is and you do! So it's all good!" Willow smiled brightly. 

Buffy felt like she did when her parents split up, and when Angel left her, panic rising in her chest. She thought they loved her too, and that loving her meant something. "How could he leave me?"

"But he's not! He's staying now, you said so."

"Yeah... Yeah, it' s all good." Buffy nodded. Giles was staying... for as long as he had a job to do. She forced a smile. "I’m good. Let’s hit those sales"


	12. Chapter 12

**_October, 2000_ **

Buffy lay awake until the sun seeped through her curtains. Then, careful not to disturb Riley, she slid out of bed, got dressed and left. 

She stood outside Giles’ door, staring at it. She wondered if she couldn't just ignore everything that had happened. She could just go back to her dorm and climb into bed with Riley and then on Monday everything would go back to normal. But it wouldn’t be normal. And putting this off meant leaving Giles to wallow in uncertainty and angst and she couldn't do that. She couldn't ignore this anymore. 

She knocked on the door. 

It was a minute before Giles answered. He hadn’t shaved and was wearing the same clothes from the night before, the top buttons of his shirt undone. He looked surprised to see her.

"We need to talk," Buffy said.

Giles nodded. "We do," he said seriously and stepped aside to let her in. 

Buffy noticed he was holding a glass with some amber liquid in it.

"Are you drinking?" Buffy asked, concerned.

Giles looked embarrassed. "Hair of the dog. But I'm fine," he insisted, putting the glass down on the counter. "I'm fine. I-I don't want to put this off." 

Buffy nodded and took a breath. She got straight to the point. "What you said last night, it wouldn't have worked, she wouldn't have moved on, if you hadn't meant it."

Giles stared solemnly at her. "I did mean it." His voice was hoarse and low. "I'm sorry. I'm leaving."

"What?" Buffy started to feel panicky. 

"I thought I could ignore... this... but it's been dishonest of me to carry on here when I feel like—"

"I don't want you to leave," Buffy interrupted. Giles stared, taken aback by her insistence. "You should have told me," she continued. "You should have said something. But I... I..." She took a breath and started again. "I've been thinking about this all night... why I feel this way, why this happened." Her voice started to waver. "She couldn't have moved on if you didn't love me, but she wouldn't have even chosen me if I... if I didn't..." 

Buffy couldn't finish, she was choking on the words, but from the way Giles looked at her she could tell he had figured out what she was trying to say. _If I didn't love you._

Disbelief and a smile were playing on his features. Buffy felt heartbroken. 

"But we can't work," she said.

"I know," he replied, his voice oddly calm, the same disbelieving smile on his face.

"I love Riley," she said softly. "I don't want to hurt him," she added more surely. 

"I know," he repeated.

"Stop looking at me like that."

"Sorry." He looked away, self-conscious. 

"What are we going to do?" she pleaded. 

"I am not exactly level-headed right now," he said, struggling to keep a smile off his face. 

"I want to go back to before, like this never happened."

Giles tried very hard to look serious and nodded at Buffy's suggestion. "We could try."

"I guess that's the best we've got." 


	13. Chapter 13

Buffy had training with Giles scheduled Monday after class. She had to psych herself up to go.  _ What am I so worried about anyways? _ Nothing was going to happen… She thought of the way he looked at her the last time they talked, the way he had said he loved her… her heart beat faster...  _ No,  _ she told herself. Nothing would happen. It would be fine.  _ Fine and normal.  _

Giles was there waiting for her when she got to the room they had booked at the gym. He lit up when she walked in. 

"Hello," he said. 

Buffy felt her face burning up. "Try to be normal, Giles."

"What? I am normal," he said, still smiling uncontrollably and not taking his eyes off her.

"You can't look at me like that," Buffy said, avoiding eye contact. She couldn't look at Giles without blushing. 

"Oh." He got flustered. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was looking, um, abnormally." 

"Just... tell me we can do this." 

"We'll be fine," Giles assured her. "Emotional repression is what I was trained for," he joked gently. 

She smiled at him despite herself.

It made his heart skip. "I just need some practice," he said.

"Well, that's what we're here for, right? Practice." 

The training started out awkwardly. Giles mixed up his instructions and Buffy messed up some simple moves, but as the session went on they became more and more at ease. When they had something to concentrate on they were both able to interact absolutely normally. In between sets Giles still smiled at her a bit much, but Buffy wasn't blushing over it anymore. She started to feel like it was kind of nice. 

Buffy moved on to her core exercises, holding poses on a balance beam. 

"Maybe we should skip that for today," Giles suggested, his voice a little higher than usual. 

"Why? I need to work on my balance." 

Giles just shrugged and turned away. Buffy shook her head, bemused. She wasn't doing anything more provocative than stretching while standing on one leg at a time. If he had trouble watching her do that, he was going to have issues. 

"Hey Giles, I need you to spot me."

He turned around, looking uneasy. 

Buffy couldn't help but smile, it was too amusing to make him act like this. She made eye contact with him and held it as she switched poses, leaning forward and curling one leg up behind her. 

He turned red. "Try to be normal," he asked. 

Buffy smirked. "I am normal." 

"You did want us to act like Friday never happened."

"I did," she said apologetically and jumped down from the balance beam. "You're right." She cracked a smile. "It's just kind of fun making it hard for you." Buffy's eyes widened a little, realizing a moment too late she used a double entendre. But hey, if she was making fun of Giles anyways, may as well go all out. She met his gaze with a smirk to confirm she stood by her phrasing. 

He was dumbstruck for a moment. Then his eyes glinted and he fought back a smile. "If that's what you want to do I won't say no." 

Buffy was taken aback, she felt her face growing hot, but there was no way she was going to let Giles fluster her. She desperately tried to think of something sexy to say back...

There was a knock on the door.

Riley popped his head in. "Hey Buffy, we still on after this?"

"Oh! Yeah! Yeah... just give us a minute to wrap up." 

Riley smiled at her and left again. 

Buffy glanced at Giles. He looked abashed. 

"So that's what it's like when we're  _ not _ acting normal," she said. 

"Quite."

"We won't do that again." 

"Indeed."


	14. Chapter 14

**_January, 2001_ **

The Magic Box closed early on Mondays. The front was locked up, outside the sun was setting, and Buffy was sitting alone at the research table. She was supposed to be reading about the history of krav maga, but she was tired. Instead she was watching Giles go over receipts. 

She had had a day. She had had a few months worth of days. 

She got up from the table and wandered over to the counter. 

"I need a break," she sighed. "Wanna buy me dinner?"

"Oh." Giles looked up from his receipts, thought about it for a second. "Okay." 

"Thai sound good?" 

After a couple of days adjustment to the idea of being in love with each other, the reality that it didn't make a difference set in, and Buffy and Giles had settled into normal interactions. Buffy still caught Giles looking at her too fondly now and then, but it was a nice reminder that he was still in love with her, even if it would be too strange to ever do anything about that. 

But now Riley was gone, and Buffy was lonely, and she had asked Giles to dinner. It wasn't a date, she told herself. She was just curious what it would be like if they _did_ date, if it would really be so strange after all. 

The restaurant was nice, it wasn’t fine dining, but it was a step up from a family place. The walls were covered in intricate art pieces and light fixtures of mosaiced coloured glass hung from the ceiling, they cast a dim, warm light, augmented by tealights on the tables. 

"Okay, ground rules for dinner," Buffy said after they were seated. "This is a break, so no shop talk." 

"I don't think the remainder of my conversation will last us through the salad."

Buffy rolled her eyes. "You just got back from England, you must have done something interesting there."

"You've known me for four years, what makes you think I do anything interesting?"

Buffy laughed. 

When the server took their order Giles ordered a glass of wine with his dinner. 

"I'll have the same," Buffy added casually. 

Giles raised his eyebrows at her. 

"You're not going to narc on me, are you?" Buffy asked when the server left. 

"No," Giles replied, though he still looked disapproving. 

"Come on, if anyone ever needed a drink, it's me."

"Just don't make a habit of it." 

Buffy wasn't used to drinking, she had to make an effort not to purse her lips at the slight alcoholic burn of the wine, and it went straight to her head. Which was actually what she wanted. It made her feel light, like a relief. 

Despite his earlier reticence, Giles took on the task of distracting and entertaining Buffy and told stories about his life in England throughout dinner, his eyes getting more animated as he talked. Buffy liked watching him. 

"Thanks for dinner," Buffy said after Giles had paid the bill. "I'll walk you home?"

"Sure." Giles smiled. 

The stars seemed to stand out more than usual in the black sky, and the night air was crisp. Buffy kept close to Giles as they walked, she felt warmer when she was near him. She felt like where she was supposed to be. 

"This was fun," Buffy said as they reached Giles' door. 

"Yes, we should do it again." He gave Buffy one of his too-fond looks. 

Buffy smiled. "Yeah..." She stepped close to him, tilted her head up and looked at him expectantly. 

"Oh!" Giles said, suddenly concerned and taking a step back. "Uh, was this a date?"

Buffy shrugged, self-conscious. "I dunno, but it went well, didn't it?"

Giles paced away from her, running a hand through his hair.

"Giles, you still want me, don't you?" 

He turned around and his eyes flickered over her. "I do, Buffy," he said softly and carefully. "But we don't work together." 

"I thought we were working kinda well just now." 

"What would you tell your friends and family about us?"

"Nothing."

"You want to lie?"

"What is there to tell them? That we're spending time together? We always do that. We're just… changing up what we do when we're together."

He looked unconvinced. 

"Giles... I keep thinking about when you kissed me. I wanna do that again, but I want to be me this time." 

"And you won't be thinking about Riley?"

Buffy blinked, taken aback. "What?"

"Buffy, you're emotionally vulnerable right now, and the last thing I want to do is take advantage of that." 

"Right... right. I'm vulnerable. And you're the adult here. You know what's best." 

"I'm just trying to do the right thing, Buffy." 

"Of course you are. I'll just go..." and she walked off into the night, leaving Giles to wonder what he should have done differently. 

* * *

Buffy was late for training the next day. When she did come in Giles noticed she was avoiding looking at him. He didn't know if she was embarrassed or angry at him. He wanted to make things right with her though. 

"Um... I'm sorry about last night," he said when they were alone in the training room. 

"We don't have to talk about it," she said, still not looking at him. "It was my bad. A lapse in judgement." 

Buffy knew Giles had been right, actually. She _was_ rebounding. And she didn’t want to make Giles rebound-guy. 

She turned to him, a smile plastered on her face. "We're good." 

The way his eyes searched her face she could tell he didn’t quite believe her, though he smiled anyways. As usual his smile made her heart skip a little. It would be easier to _not_ want to make him rebound-guy if he didn’t do that. And if he wasn’t so tall. And if she didn’t think about running her fingers through his hair when he stood close to her… _God,_ it was stupid to feel like this and not be able to do anything about it. 

Giles put on his boxing pads. “Let’s start then,” he said. 

She squared up and landed a punch on his left hand pad with enough force that he stumbled back a little, his eyes wide with shock. 

Buffy cringed. “Sorry.”

“No, no. I’m fine… We’re good?” he asked nervously. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” Buffy repeated. 

“Just have to correct my stance,” he said, shaking his arm out. But he looked anxious as he faced off with her again. 

Buffy tried to dial it back as she resumed the boxing set. 

_Giles is right,_ she repeated to herself. If they did do something about their feelings she would want to keep it secret, and that would be bad. That would be the definition of a bad relationship choice. She should make better relationship choices. She should find a nice, normal guy and then ruin his life with her drama and dangerous secret life and why shouldn’t she date her Watcher anyhow? 

“Uh, let’s take a break,” Giles said suddenly. 

“Oh. Okay.” Buffy shrugged and went to find her water bottle. 

Giles exhaled as she walked away. His hands were stinging. He felt like he must have made a mistake. 

_No_ , he reassured himself, he had done the right thing. Buffy would realize that. Eventually she would realize that. He was being responsible, he was putting a lot of effort into being responsible. When he looked at Buffy he felt like it would be far too easy to stop being responsible, and when he thought of the way she had looked up at him under the stars a part of him regretted that he _hadn’t_ made a mistake with Buffy the night before. 

* * *

A week later the Council arrived, not to help with the omnipresent threat of Glory, it turned out, but to put more obstacles in Buffy's way. 

After their first meeting with Travers and the Council, Buffy and Giles stayed late at the Magic Box, commiserating in the dark. The only light in the shop came from the research table they were sitting at together. 

As if it wasn't enough that the Council was keeping secret the information Buffy needed to protect Dawn, they were threatening to take Giles away. 

"They picked the perfect thing," Buffy sighed. "I can't lose you."

Giles met her gaze, his eyes full of concern.

"Thank you," he said, but he made it sound like "I love you." 

Buffy gently took his hand in hers. She half expected him not to let her and to draw away, but he squeezed her hand back. Buffy's heart quickened just a little. The way he was looking at her, his eyes travelling over her face and lingering on her lips, she thought he might kiss her. 

“I never actually told you I love you, did I?” she whispered. 

“You never needed to.”

“But I should. Just in case.”

He smiled gently, but he didn’t kiss her. Of course he didn't. They remained as they were, two people on opposite sides of a circle of light, surrounded by darkness. 

Later, they left the Magic Box together and walked down Main Street, past darkened shops and under flickering street lights. 

Buffy noticed Giles frequently turning to look at her.

“You really have to stop looking at me like that.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I can’t go on like this, Giles. This chaste little game of googly eyes, it’s pointless.” She sounded more pleading than frustrated. 

Giles stopped walking. “I’m sorry,” he said seriously, his brow knit. “I’m trying. I’m just trying to do what’s best.”

Buffy turned to him. “Maybe what’s best is to love me.”

“I do love you,” he said, his voice low. 

She stepped closer and looked up at him. “Then do something about it.” 

“It’s because I love you that I don’t.” Giles spoke haltingly, like he was trying very hard to stay calm and in control. “I don’t want to make your life harder, you deserve better, you—”

Suddenly Buffy kissed him, she stood on her toes and kissed him briefly but assuredly. And he forgot everything he was saying. 

“Check it out,” she said softly.

“What?” he asked, very lost.

“The world didn’t end.” 

She tugged gently on his jacket, pulling him close. He didn’t stop her, and she kissed him again. 

“And hey. You didn’t ruin my life.”

Like he was giving up he kissed her back. He kissed her back and she felt like her her whole body was humming.

“In fact,” she murmured in between kisses, “I think my life is getting better.” 

“Oh good.”

He wrapped his arms around her, his fingers tangled in her hair, holding her close, Buffy felt something surge in her, nothing mattered that was outside the circle of light cast by the streetlamp where he was kissing her. 

Eventually she pulled back ever so slightly. “I’ll walk you home?” she asked. 

“That’s a bad idea.” He seemed serious, but even as he spoke his resolve melted away.

Buffy smiled at him. “The best bad idea.”

But it was a while until they moved from under the streetlamp.


End file.
